Otak Kuning

 Brain Gym  1 Response »
May 312008
 

My fren forwarded to me through email this what so called Lawak Lucah..  just read and do your own muhasabah  to yourself…..  hehehehee ( gelak tak habis lagi ni)

Begini ceritanya…..

Seorang guru, Cikgu Murni (Umur: 22 tahun) menghadapi masalah dengan salah seorang muridnya (Abu). Lalu guru ini bertanya kepada murid tersebut : “Apa sebenarnya masalah awak, Abu?”

Lalu Abu menjawab, “Saya terlalu cerdik untuk berada di darjah 4, kakak saya menduduki UPSR dan saya lebih cerdik dari dia, maka saya seharusnya berada di tempat yang sama juga!”.

Cikgu Murni dah tak tertahan. Dia bawa Abu ke pejabat pengetua. Sementara Abu menunggu di ruang tamu, Cikgu Murni terangkan keadaan tersebut kepada pengetua. Pengetua mengatakan yang dia akan berikan ujian kepada Abu dan jika Abu gagal menjawab, maka Abu harus kekal di darjah 3 dan berkelakuan baik. Abu dibawa masuk ke pejabat Pengetua dan Cikgu Murni terangkan pada Abu dan Abu bersetuju untuk ambil ujian yang akan diberikan.

Pengetua: Apa 3 x 3?
Abu: 9
Pengetua: Apa 6 x 6?
Abu: 36

Pengetua terus bertanyakan soalan2 berdasarkan tahap pencapaian murid2 UPSR dan si Abu mampu menjawab tiap soalan yang diberikan. Lalu pengetua memandang Cikgu Murni dan berkata, “Saya rasa murid ini sepatutnya berada di darjah 6. Lalu Cikgu Murni berkata pada pengetua, “Saya ada soalan saya sendiri, boleh tak saya ajukan pada Abu?”. Pengetua dan Abu bersetuju.

Cikgu Murni: Apa yang lembu ada 4 di badan, tapi saya cuma ada dua?
Abu: (berfikir) Kaki
Cikgu Murni: Apa yang ada di dalam seluar kamu tapi tidak pada seluar saya?
Abu: Saku
Cikgu Murni: Apa yang bermula dengan huruf “K” akhir dengan “A”, ianya berbulu, berbentuk oval, nyaman dan mengandungi lapisan nipis keputihan?
Abu: Kelapa
Cikgu Murni: Apakah yang masuk keras dan berwarna “pink”, bila keluar lembik dan melekit?
Mata Pengetua terbuka luas dan sebelum sempat dia menahan, si Abu terus menjawab.
Abu: Gula-gula getah (Bubblegum)
Cikgu Murni: Apa yang mereka lakukan, lelaki secara berdiri, wanita secara duduk dan anjing secara tiga kaki?
Mata Pengetua sekali lagi terbuka sangat2 luas dan sebelum dia sempat hendak menahan si Abu terus menjawab.
Abu: Bersalaman
Cikgu Murni: Baik, sekarang saya akan ajukan soalan berbentuk siapakah saya, okay?
Abu: Baik Cikgu
Cikgu Murni: Awak memasukkan batang kedalam saya. Awak ikat saya untuk saya berdiri. Saya kebasahan sebelum awak.
Pengetua kelihatan resah dengan soalan yang diajukan oleh Cikgu Murni.
Abu: Khemah
Cikgu Murni: Jari memasuki saya. Awak menggesel-gesel saya bila awak teringatkan saya. Lelaki idaman akan mendapat saya dahulu.
Pengetua semakin resah dan tidak selesa. Lantas terus meneguk segelas Nescafe 3in1.
Abu: Cincin perkahwinan
Cikgu Murni: Saya ada bermacam-macam saiz. Bila saya sakit saya akan meleleh. Bila saya keluar, banyak tisu yang akan digunakan. Bila awak hembuskan saya, akan berasa lega.
Sekali lagi pengetua rasa amat resah dengan soalan yang di ajukan oleh Cikgu Murni dan ingin membantah, tapi si Abu mendahuluinya.
Abu: Hidung
Cikgu Murni: Saya batang yang keras. Hujungnya tajam. Saya akan datang dan masuk dengan lajunya.
Abu: Anak panah
Cikgu Murni: Sekarang saya akan ajukan soalan dalam Bahasa Inggeris, okay?
Abu: Okay
Cikgu Murni: What word starts with a ‘F’ and end in ‘K’ that means lot of heat and excitement?
Abu: Firetruck
Cikgu Murni: What word starts with a ‘F’ and ends in ‘K’ & if you dont get it you have to use your hand.
Abu: Fork
Cikgu Murni: What is it that all men have one of. It’s longer on some men than on others, the pope does not use his, and a man gives it to his wife after they are married?
Abu: Surname
Cikgu Murni: What part of the man has no bones but has muscles, lots of veins and loves pumping?
Abu: Heart
Pengetua menghembuskan nafas kelegaan bila mendengar jawapan yang diberikan oleh si Abu, lantas berkata “Baik hantar murid ini ke Universiti Malaya, jawapan yang saya fikirkan semuanya salah”.

P/s: Jika jawapan anda semua salah, anda adalah sama spesies dengan pengetua yang mempunyai pemikiran kuning. Heh Heh Heh

SO WHAT SPECIES ARE YOU …  ABU, CIKGU MURNI or PENGETUA….

 Posted by Renjuna at 6:44 pm  Tagged with: , , ,

Kudos to Impiana Resort Cherating

 Ramblings  No Responses »
May 312008
 

Last week I attended one program in Impiana Resort Cherating. During kelam kabut nak balik rumah that evening, I miss my Red Wing safety shoes at their lobby. I memang tak terperasan yang kasut tu tertinggal kat situ even after I arrive at home. After I cari nak guna kasut tu the next morning, baru I teringat yang kasut tu tertinggal kat sana and to make the matter worse I takde no tepon sana untuk pesan atau ask for that.

Almost 4 days after that I kebetulan nak pegi ke Kuantan lagi, then I singgah sekejap kat sana and dalam hati takde la berharap sangat nak jumpa balik kasut tu. To my surprise after i asked the receiption counter, their clerk cakap benda tu ada and call housekeeping to bring my shoes back to me.

So, thank you very much Impiana Resort Cherating and KUDOS to you for having a very high integrity staff. ( anyway my Red Wing safety shoes tu senang-senang boleh jual RM 200- 400 at black market)

 

 Posted by Renjuna at 6:23 pm  Tagged with: , , , , , , ,

My Hectic Little Life

 Ramblings  1 Response »
May 292008
 

Last two weeks memang havoc. I did a lot of things and had travelled to lot of places. I also had attended my 4-days skill group enhancement program and shortly after went fo a recce to Ipoh, Cameron HIghland, Sunway, Bukit Tinggi and few other interesting places for my company Family Day Program in 2008. And this week again attending my skill group program which is Project Management line (fyi Skill Group Program is a training program conducted by my company to give training and guidance for us (the doers) in ecah functional skill).

And today I have to attend a workshop or brainstorming session in Kuantan. This 3 days 2 nights program also is a program or initiative of my company to improve work processes in the workplace. But the good things is the schedule is not very tight and maybe I’ll have the times to pamper myself with jalan-jalan and shopping-shoppping coz  I’ve planned to buy 8 Gig Pendrive and few other things.

Till then , see u again next time and hopefully with the pictures taken during my recce last week

Note : Which team do you support in Euro 2008 which will kick off in next 9 days. My prediction will be Germany and Italy and the dark horses will be Czech and Portugal. Are u ready for this tournament….. if not then you better watch out coz it’ll be coming soon to you ‘special’ at http://fullyhalfemty.wordpress.com

 Posted by Renjuna at 4:25 pm  Tagged with: , , , , ,

John Terry Open Letter to Chelsea Fans

 Sports  1 Response »
May 262008
 

chelsea captain

I don’t blame Terry-Fic for missing the suddenth death penalty shoot-out during Champion League Final. His guts and determination during games throughout the season are marvellous should be taken as an example for every sportmen and sportwomen.  Below is an open letter written by Chelsea skipper to all Blues Fans around the globe.

The Chelsea captain wrote:

 

‘To all the Chelsea fans, all my team-mates, the manager and staff at the club.

 

I am so sorry for missing the penalty and denying you the fans, my team-mates, family and friends the chance to become European champions.

 

Many people have told me I don’t need to say that but I feel I need to, that’s just me. I have relived that moment every minute since it happened. I have only slept a few hours and wake up every time hoping it’s all been a bad dream.

 

I have had some amazing support from fans, current and ex-players, family and friends and I need to thank everyone for that. But I am a big man and I take responsibility for us not winning.

 

I am and ALWAYS will be Chelsea through and through. I will give my all on and off the pitch to win this trophy as a player and one day as a manager. And I am sure we will win it.

 

That night in Moscow will haunt me forever and I feel I have let everybody down and this hurts me more than anything. I am not ashamed about crying. This is a trophy I have tried so hard year after year to win and it was just an uncontrollable reaction, I wear my heart on my sleeve, everybody knows that.

 

The road to Rome starts here, we have to try and turn this experience to our advantage. I am very proud of how far we have come this season with everything that has gone on.

 

Thank you for all your support for the team this season.’

Source: Chelsea.com

 Posted by Renjuna at 10:06 pm  Tagged with: , , ,

Red Devils’ Rules in Red Square

 Sports  No Responses »
May 262008
 

Congrat to Man United

After battled for about 2 hours and 45 minutes in a game last Wednesday, Manchester United won the UEFA Champion League for a third time in their history. Won through penalty shoot-out of 6-5 after normal and extra time ended 1-1.

 

An epic grandeur of Moscow – the wide expanses of Red Square and vast boulevards bisecting the city provided a backdrop of suitable magnitude for a domestic rivalry now given a European dimension – this match was quintessentially English. The cavernous bowl of the Luzhniki Stadium even had the feel of the old Wembley as the rain poured and the two teams went at each other with the ferocity of a Sunday league, never mind Premier League, game. Claude Makelele’s raised arm on Scholes left his opponent with a bloody nose, Michael Ballack reacted angrily to Tévez’s tackle from behind and Essien clattered into Ronaldo again. Then there was Didier Drogba’s slap on Nemanja Vidić that earned a red card.

 

The hero for the night is none bigger than the Dutch goalkeeper who had the last word in his maybe last conquest in Ultimate European Club title. With Cristiano Ronaldo’s effort denied by Petr Čech, John Terry had had the chance to clinch it for Chelsea but slipped on the rain-soaked turf and sent his spot-kick wide. Fifty years on from the Munich air crash, it seemed nothing was going to stop this being United’s final.

 

——————————————————————————————–

Anyway, Chelsea- Please get rid of DROGBA, Malouda, Ballack, Kalou, Sheva, Sidwell, Wright-Phillip, Anelka, Tel-Ben Haim..

Source: uefa.com

 

 Posted by Renjuna at 9:53 pm  Tagged with: , , , ,
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